satisfaction, guaranteed

So I mentor for a middle school mentorship at Helms Middle School in San Pablo called Let's Rise, and every time I go to mentorship, I have hope for the future of humanity. This past Friday, myself and another mentor did a workshop about LGBTQ awareness, and the responses we got were very powerful. There were times when I felt like the mentees already knew everything there was to know. Some of them were even comfortable enough to share their own personal stories and this is all from MIDDLE SCHOOL students.
The next day, we took them on a field trip to the Tech Museum in San Jose. They're so sweet and funny. I love all of them.
I guess all I'm trying to say is that I love the work I do. Let's Rise mentees are going to grow up to be beautiful people who do great things. <3 p="">

partying with negative nancies.

I like to think of myself as a positive person, which only heightens when I'm under the influence so it's hard for me to go out to parties with people who constantly complain instead of making the best out of the situation.

going with the flow, rolling with the homies.

Mr. Johnson said that you should date around in college and I be thinking to myself, "How da fuq do I go about doing that?" Lost puppy, lost soul, I want a slice of cake.

Berkeley Bubble

Maybe it's because I'm on my period, but my friends keep having me fucked up. Don't act like you're my mom. Don't act like I'm acting brand new.

What people need to understand is that I'm caught up in the Berkeley bubble. I can't escape because I'm trying to make the most out of my college experience. Every time I think about going home, I stop myself and think about all the shit I would be missing out on if I went home for just one weekend. I'm so close, but my mind is so far away.

College is when you get to know who REALLY keeps in touch.

It really bugged me when I heard you were talking shit. Not really talking shit, but kind of making it seem like MY life wasn't that interesting after I tried showing you a good time. Honestly, what the fuck.

To new beginnings, I guess!

The shit I did Saturday and Sunday night was really unlike me. Fuck.

Moving in next Friday,

I don't want the day to come. I'm scared. If I'm this nervous about moving 10 minutes away from home, imagine how I'd do if I chose to go somewhere down South.

I'm really worried about keeping up with my schoolwork. My senior year at Skyline did not prep me at all for what's to come at one of the most competitive schools in the nation. I don't remember how to study at all. I really have to push myself, or it's BAD. Time to get out of this lazy slump.

Bye, bye to my last free weekend with the homies!

It's been a good weekend. My weekend basically started Wednesday night and it has yet to stop. My weekend basically started once my lips touched a blunt or a lick of alcohol. Good friends and good laughs. I really fuck with it. Drunk people are so funny. Too lazy to list everything I did...

Next weekend, I'll be camping with family. The weekend after that, I'll be in Occidental. The Friday after that, I'm an official Cal student. See me at the dorms! I really want to know who my roomies are...

I can't believe I skipped the entire month of June without writing. What have I been doing? I've been asking myself that question a lot.

I've been dilly-dallying around with friends, going to work, and watching my favorite ridiculous shows on TV. I've been living the good life. There has been a lot of trifles with friends and boys, but none directly involving me. Sometimes I think I'm trifling for looking at other guys and getting their digits, but I'm living carefree so I really just don't care.

I do miss how things used to be though. Kicking it at Austin and Vincent's until the wee hours of the night. Playing spades until we get hella tired. MIEN food! I miss that shit the most. And being in the company of the people from the community - STP and AYPAL folks. I really do miss everyone, but I'm excited that Linda organized this hiking trip! Seeing old faces might be weird for a few, but great for most.

A high school weekend at its finest!

Everything about this weekend made me appreciate being a senior and my friends.

Thursday to Saturday I got to go to three amusement parks in SoCal (Disneyland, Universal Studios, and Magic Mountain) with friends and classmates for GradNite. There were illegal substances and outta pocket dares on the bus. Definitely something I will never forget. Do it for the THREE!

Sunday, Miranda and I were off to Austin's to celebrate his birthday. Drinking games and delicious Mien food is fasho da best. Afterwards, we were off to shenanigans that led us to another birthday boy's house for more dares. I'm really glad I got to see him that night. People were really tryna push us together with dirty dares! I will never look at maple syrup the same way...

Today, I hella wanted to stay home because I was exhausted and I felt bad for not being home the entire weekend but Donna called me for Thriftown. 50% clothing? I couldn't resist. After shopping, we were off to Stinson Beach for Hannah's birthday. It was SO beautiful. Dancing at the beach and looking at the beautiful ocean around us, I was juiced off life. It made me so sentimental.

My senior year has been SO good to me! I wouldn't change a thing. I'm hella happy with my life right now. Now I must write this graduation speech by Friday and prep for finals next week. Zamn daddy, I'm bouta cry.

Happy Ratema,

I'm probably the happiest I've been in so fucking long. The only thing I'm remotely worried about is passing my last marking period of Physiology, but other than that, my life is great.

Been talking to a new guy and he's sooo sweet. He's not the player-type sweet, but genuinely sweet. Had a little quadruple date Friday (hopefully this one isn't cursed like that quintuple date), and it was hella chill and fun. It proved that we could hang out sober, because before that, we were always on as fuck. I is a happy camper! :)

Saturday was Cinco De FUCKEDUP and I got shwasted. Kinda wished I calmed my ass down, but I had a lot of fun. It was like a fucking Montera reunion. First party I've been to in a while where I actually knew most of the people there! Good shit.

Went to the Oyster Farm with cousins today. Got buzzed on champagne and took my baby cousin to go play in the water. Good food, good people, and a good buzz. It's been real. 

I'm really happy at this point in my life. Everything that's been holding onto my stress is now over and I'm just chilling. All in all, AYS assembly was a sucess and prom had it's ups and downs, but I had hella fun afterwards with friends. Finally got fucking closure from Vincent last week. I'm hella proud at how much I've grown since the break up. Even though I still dwell on the past from time to time, I feel comfortable moving on.

My goal right now,

Is to try to be laid back and step away from looking thirsty because I ain't no thirsty nigga. Except this guy is so sweet....

Prom is my thing?

Tonight was the Teacher Talent Show, and I must say, it was probably the best Teacher Talent Show to ever hit Skyline. I give much props to Ashanique for organizing the event and rallying up all the administrators and staff to participate! Class of 2012 made bank! Hella people showed up and it was definitely a must-see!

After the show, I congratulated Ashanique on organizing the show and she said she was really happy. The thing that got me nervous was when she said, "This was my thing, prom is your thing." After she said that I was like, AWWW SHIT! and I got hella nervous because yes, I've been very active in planning prom, but due to my own youth organizing, I've had to miss one crucial meeting and rely on my officers - the venue visits early last summer. I'm really nervous about the size of the venue for prom. It's MUCH smaller than last year's, but still very classy. I really hope everything goes well. I'm also nervous about the administrators' assertion of the "no dirty dancing" rule system. I know for a fact that dem flashlights can fasho ruin someone's night and who are they going to blame? Me.

Honestly, it's not about the venue, the DJ, or the dancing - prom is about spending time with friends and dressing up looking hella cute. But that's just me, to others, prom is a bunch of material things so I'm SUPER nervous.

May the force be with me, and opinions not kill me.

This should be a happy time for me,

Got into college, got hella shit done this week, but there's still loads of little things to do. SIGHHH, but I'm gonna forget about my responsibilities for 3 days on my trip to UCSD!

Ordered the AYS T-shirts today. FASHO.

Tomorrow is basically my "Friday" because I'm gonna hop on a plane to SD Thursday. I hope they don't fuck up Shane's plane ticket, because I'm really not in the socializing mood this week! But I'll try my best to be hella friendly and shit.

I found out that I didn't get the Incentive Award. No one from Skyline got it, because apparently it's a scholarship competition for the East Bay Region. Fuuuck. I really just wanted the scholarship so that it'd make my decision to go to Berkeley easy on me. Now that nothing (except for my major, the gazillion cool organizations there, my sister, and the Khmer language course) is holding me back. To be a SoCal girl or stick to what I know?

As of now,

My plans for the next four years are pretty set.

It's stress overload time. I didn't realize how little time I had before the AYS assembly. Damn you, spring break for playing with my emotions! I gotta do a good number of tedious things. I'm tryna assign more roles to people, but it's just hard when I want things done a certain way. But I got Chrystal on the video and her ideas are hella funny so I hope she gets everything done on time. All dem niggaz better show up to Filipino dance practice Sunday. Tired of filling in for them. And Donna is on the playlist.

I'm surprised not a lot of teachers replied to my invite, so I'm gonna go to them individually to find out what the haps is. I need to fill the auditorium!

AND it's spirit week followed by senior events next week.

Let's do it.

Tentative Design for AYS shirt

I have to poop.

Life has been... good? Yes, I'd say it's been great. Scared for next week though. A little scared for the AYS assembly. And anticipating prom and hoping/PRAYING everyone will enjoy themselves.

BUUUT, I love my friends. I just wanna dance and then go to sleep. The end.

Biggo sighs for March,

Missed two calls from UCSD. Why you no email me? sad lyfe.

I've been trying to help my friends out with college shit. It stresses me out. I just want to see them happy, but it's hard to help them fix the mistakes from their past. Thank goodness for Cyber High.

I'm not even going to mention college in any of my tweets, fb statuses, or tumblr posts.  Promise. I hate seeing people confused and sad when they don't get college notifications as soon as others. FUCK, it's going to be a hard month.

my name is Ratema,

and I am no longer afraid of the freeway.