happy week

this week has been happy. maybe cause we didn't have to go to all our classes in one day and we had EXTRA long lunches. i've been having hella fun at lunch these days.

CST testing isn't that bad and teachers have been taking it easy on us for a while. Strike day tomorrow and i plan to go to the library in Chinatown with my sister and Eugene to study for upcoming AP tests. then i have to go to practice. not feeling it but all good. i love my badminton girls.

SPEAKING OF BADMINTON, today was our last official game. against Oakland High - our rivals. lets just say we whooped them and they weren't too happy about it. we are officially OAL Champs this year. =] next week will be the tournaments for the top players, which excludes me. so i'll just be chilling.

bumming around, feel me?

everyone was so happy today. it made me happy. lunch was hella long and i enjoyed it very much.

i got home, and got slightly stressed. instead of going out on Thursday, i'm gonna catch up on homework and start studying for my AP exam. i plan on doing this because even though the teachers are on strike, i still have badminton practice T.T. if i didn't have practice, i woulda went to the LIMCA ylo.

oh, the opportunities.

i have these nervous moments where i want to say something, but i say nothing.
i don't have the courage to say some things. i get intimidated.
old habit. not sure how to kick it.

but i had a good day today. kasoy = yummy in the tummy.

battlescars, feel me?

i'm disappointed. because i see potential, but it's overshadowed. i'm fucking disappointed.

today was quite satisfying - went to Earth Day and hung out with Eugene. we both fell GRACEFULLY on our asses. i came out with a booboo, but i just consider it a battlescar from trying to save the earth.
at the study session, i hung out with Chris and we freaked out together, talked about life, and basically got things cracking. cause if we don't get things cracking, failure is inevitable.

afterwards, my sister and i hung out with Petora to make TACOS! had hella fun goofing around. tacos were hella good. Vincent was only there briefly because he had other duties to attend.

i'm tired. i wish i had a dog to cuddle with..

there are trees, but no leaves

i got all this anger built up inside of me. not sure where it's coming from.

today was a great day. i love Fridays. i ended up not having to write my essay. i will write it Tuesday.

WARNING: VENT, VENT, VENT!
you are hella fucking cocky. you're smart, but you're lazy. i don't understand. whenever i even consider copying your shit, you give me this degrading look but you copy my work that i've worked my fucking ass off on.
i know you're good at the sport, but don't contradict yourself. freshmen can beat you if they have the skills to. calm the hell down.
okay, i'm done.

the beginning of this week was really stressful for me. i had so much homework and stuff i needed to do but so little time. it really put a damper in the sunshine i imagine in my head.

but i got hella shit done. finished work early and now i have time to blog! i'm proud of myself.

i would really like a relaxing weekend now. please and thank you.

feel me?

i'm pretty sure there's a stench coming from me right now.
i need to shower.

it's frustrating how when i'm busy you're not and vice versa. boo, that's not cool.

so i was writing myself a note out of 5th today and Mr. Hwang saw it and was confused. any normal teacher would've yelled at me or given me detention but he just told me it was stupid because i already had a real reason to get out of 5th period so i didn't have to lie. whatever, i'm smart. he hella chill though.

i am not accepting any suspicious baked goods tomorrow. i know what you kids are up to! i'm tryna get my education on, feel me?

give me a hug, you fool

i'm hella affectionate. i've been like this since i was little.
cuddle time is my favorite time. i always rest my head on people's shoulders. i don't know why. i just love physical contact.
makes me happy.
makes me feel safe.
makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

good days after a terrible one

Thursday sucked.

Friday was fun. AYS assembly was great, only went to one class that day and i felt so light and happy. did laundry with Vincent and went to Sushi House and smashed on some annoying little girls.

Today was tiring but entertaining. woke up at six AM to sun the lake with Vincent, my sister, Nora, and Peter. Vincent let me drive for a quick second and i was HELLA confused! i cannot drive.
running was relaxing. i would do it more often if i had that type of determination in me.
went to Cal Day in Berkeley afterwards. SO MUCH WALKING! but it was fun with Eugene and my sister. doing random shit and checking out the dorms.
now my legs and feet are KILLING ME!

today was such a beautiful day.

i have the strong urge to cry for a reason that people might find stupid. but i see it as failure.
i am not feeling good about myself right now.

what the hell is love?

they give me definitions and i still don't understand.
i don't feel it the way i think i should.
i'm confused.

i'm expecting something to hit me: "YOU'RE IN LOVE! YOU'RE IN LOVE!" i get nothing. i thought it hit me, but the only thing that hit me was disappointment.
i need guidance.

i'm lying to myself. if i ever say "i love you", i want to truly mean it. i want to be confident in what i'm saying. i want to feel the happiness explode inside of me.

monkey in the middle

i hate being stuck in the middle. it calls for awkwardness because i refuse to take sides. it's just not right. WHY ME?

lately, i've been thinking about colleges and what i want to do with my life. you know what? i got all the time in the world to figure things out. no need to rush anything. i'm just going to live life, do my homework, and pray for happiness in return.

HAPPY CAMBODIAN NEW YEAR! we may not get money like all you lunar new year homies, but we get schmacking fooood. i don't enjoy taking moolah from family anymore. i'm young. i got time to earn moneys later.

You know what's annoying? everything, when you're on your period.

I may be slow at times, but i am not stupid

San Francisco

i love going to San Francisco for a number of reasons. the environment is just different from Oakland. i love all the fashionable people click-clacking in their heels. they inspire me. i love the malls and the possibilities that await among the clothes selling everywhere. i love the street vendors where i can buy a panda hat, like the one i already have.

one trip on BART is all it takes.

homework Sunday

feeling pretty good cause i got my outlines done on Friday. boomshakalaka.

mann, so i bought this purple v-neck yesterday and i realized that my friend has the exact same one. now i don't wanna wear it anymore. fuck it. i'm gonna wear cause i don't give a rat's ass, feel me?

so i'm gonna have a "homework party" today and all i have to do are notecards and my french project so i believe i am pretty solid.

UGGGH, i hate that i misheard him because i got so happy when i thought him say the word, "love". but it's all good. he was still tryna be sweet and i adore him for that.

hangin' wit da homies

i'm starting to feel misplaced around the people i'm pretty close with. it's little things that get me. it makes for awkward situations when they talk about a certain topic. mixed emotions. gahhh

i love my old friends. the girls i've known since elementary and middle school. Courtney makes everything fun. i haven't seen her for hella long but she's still the same old Courtney, making fun of me and cracking jokes. i miss all those times i've spent in middle school with her.

i need more time with my old friends. i miss them. i was watching TV with Allison today and i fell asleep and she kept laughing at me cause i supposedly twitch while i sleep. i blame Vincent!

overall, today was a pretty cool day. it was chill to say the least. i gotta visit Tiffany more often. i love her family.

when a heart breaks, no it don't break even

sometimes i get hella irritated. people just like to mess with me cause i'm an easy target.

i had some goods and bads of today. the bads always seem to haunt me until the next day's events. i just want spring break and relaxation.

i'm excited to go camping. =] rolling with the homies. i'm expecting it to be a blast, the combination of entertaining people is ridiculous. time to tan? okay, why the hell not?

i don't know why i give people relationship advice. not like i know shit about relationships. i guess because my relationship is (kinda) smooth, but i don't want to give people bad advice and hear the backlash. too much pressure. i'm just trying to help. but then again, sometimes i "try to help" and get ignored in return because people think the things i say are meaningless and random and totally irrelevant to their lives.

all i want to do is make people happy. but i also want to make myself happy. fuck the world, i'm going to bed.