Monday, November 29, 2010

don't just come because it's fun again...

so now that they heard that SAFIRE went on a fun retreat and whatnot, they want to come back. i don't like this. you only come because you want to get paid and have fun - you should come because you believe in what you're fighting for!

at the same time, it's whatever because SAFIRE could use more girls, but we need girls that get shit DONE! not girls that take the backseat and watch everything happen.

Friday, November 12, 2010

SO IRRITATED!

the worst part is - there's no one to vent to. i talked to my sister about problems but i don't get too deep into it.

ever feel like crying but not sure why? yeah, i get that a lot.

i feel distant. i'm so sick of the "usual" shit. the "usual" talks and the "usual" debbie downers in converstations.

i don't know, i feel like the only other person that understands what i'm going through is my sister.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

unhappy

school is terrible for me. i only look forward to one class: leadership. that's the only class where socializing is encouraged and i actually get to make a difference in my school by fundraising and whatnot. AND I'm appreciated for the work i put in!

I dread Ms. Mac's class. I think she's SO rude! she makes her students feel like idiots, because i know she makes ME feel like an idiot.
Mr. Drovin is just ridiculous. Because i'm in French 3, he never talks in english so i stop listening.
THIRD PERIOD LEADERSHIP, i look forward to this class.
Ms. Bale's class is naptime.
I like Rapson's class - my essays aren't bad.

AP Bio is the worst. i should have listened to Nhi when he told me not to take it.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

big dislike

why would you tell me you got a 10 out of 21 on a test when you really got a 17? you said you didn't want to make me feel bad and then tell me your real score and ask me if i feel bad. WTF?

i don't feel bad about my score because i'm just glad i'm doing better than my previous tests. why would you say "you know what a 12 out of 21 is? it's an F"?

you're such an asshole for that.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

This weekend would be an example of a good weekend,

GOOD:
  • Khmer conference Friday and Saturday,
  • Movement Generation dinner,
  • Sushi with HoN gamers,
  • HELLA CAMBODIANS up in UC Berkeley = happiness.
  • Skyline Football game against Fremont was one of the most exciting games i've ever been to.
  • Drive-in movie was funny.

BAD:
  • bruised my thigh (BAD) hitting the corner of a booth at the sushi place.
  • bruised my foot dropping my canteen on it.
  • tripped while walking by myself multiple times (my toe still hurts).
I really liked talking to people at the Khmer Conference, even though i was doing volunteer work most of the time. Most of them were in college but listening to their stories was amazing! their parents' experiences were so similar to my own. it really made me think. I wanna go to the conference next year. it was a really good experience for me. And all of them looked so different! dark cambodians, light ones, mixed ones. they thought i was mixed. i would have never guessed some of them were Cambodian.

"Holla, Holla, HOLLA!"
that was how they'd get our attention at the conference. loved it.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

"you're racist against white people, admit it!"

no offense to anyone but: i feel like AYPAL has taught us that white people are evil.
this causes colored people to be (what i think) racist to white people.

NOT EVERY white person should be blamed for all this white supremacy shit. sure, the majority of them are living the good life, but there's no need to really HATE them for it. yes, they have advantages and they may not realize OUR disadvantages, but we have to think of them as individual people, not categorize them into the WHITE category like so many institutions have done to us.

i've heard, "Mann fucking white people, thinking they're above us and shit!" so often as a result of a simple incident. Yes, there are rude white people in this world but you can't put it all back on white supremacy. Maybe that one white guy was just fucking rude; doesn't mean ALL of them are rude.

Not all white people are bad, i used to have white friends in middle school and i loved them for their personalities. i didn't hate them because society says they're destined to have higher paying jobs than me.

Why can't we judge people as individuals, instead of stereotyping them into one hated category? Now, AYPAL teaches us THAT forsure.

Spirit week

is a flop to me. people don't seem to have spirit. even for the easiest days, people don't dress up.
it makes me feel hella stupid to get all dressed up and walk up to school to have everyone staring at me like WTF is she wearing?
a very small percentage of Skyline students actually dress up for spirit week. and i appreciate that small percentage.

PUT IN SOME EFFORT PEOPLE!
leadership works hella hard to put spirit weeks and titanpalooza together and i feel like we don't get much in return.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

hella busy all the time!

every day, i have to remember something. either something for a class, leadership, SAFIRE, or OYEA. this makes my life so busy and my calendar on my phone is PACKED.

it's a tough life.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I HATE AP BIOLOGY

i regret taking that class so much.
science is my worst subject and taking an AP science class doesn't do any good.

right now, English is my favorite subject. i feel like i'm slowly following in my sister's footsteps, but with a different type of style. i honestly don't think i'll end up at CAL, but i hope i do.

I wanna stay by the bay ALL DAY!

I've had that "AZN MOB" song in my head all day.
"IT'S THE A-Z-N M-O-B! AYE-AYE-AZN MOB!"
I'm living under the Vincent Saephan influence.

Monday, October 11, 2010

my mother thinks the worst in people, while i think the best.
the thing that sucks is that thinking the best in people has its consequences. i trust that they aren't gonna defy my trust and they do just that.

reminds me of when i got my phone stolen..

Saturday, October 9, 2010

hanging with college kids

they have so much freedom.

but they spend so much fuckin' money when they're tryna do the opposite.

Monday, October 4, 2010

stress overload.
was close to a breakdown but didn't completely get there.

some asshole stole the bunker of one of my dad's trucks, along with the license plate. do they realize what financial consequences we have to take now? money in my household is tight and the only thing i can do is save the money i already have, which isn't much to begin with.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

talking to my mama with a retainer

me: ShChinatown hash shcheap foodsh.
Mom: what?
me: ShChinatown hash shcheap foodsh!
Mom: what? i don't understand.
me: SHCHINATOWN HASH SHCHEAP FOODSH!
Mom: It's like you're speaking in another language.

thanks mom. CHINATOWN HAS CHEAP FOOD!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

you left a bad taste in my mouth
an image in my head I can't forget
those words can't be taken back
actions permanent
with my my mind set

being drunk isn't an excuse. feeling "challenged" isn't an excuse. i will never be okay with what you did and how you approached the situation.


just another day that brings me to tears. fuck those days.

stressed people stress me out

is it not normal that i'm not really tripping about my marijuana debate tmr? i'm kinda just like "fuck it, we get extra credit for being the first ones to debate anyway."

i've been eating so much crap since summer. i've just been in the thought process that i don't have to feel bad for what i eat. why should i? if it tastes good, it tastes good.
in my mind, i wanna work out to stay fit, but i'm comfortable with my body and i don't give a fuck what people say. don't call yourself fat just cause you got a muffin-top or some rolls. there are actual OBESE people out there struggling for their lives.

think about it.

Monday, September 27, 2010

i am exhausted.
WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE FIRST TO DEBATE IN RAPSON'S CLASS?!
now i have to work on rebuttals instead of napping my homework away.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

San Jose be poppin'

celebrated my sister's birthday yesterday with my cousins - vegan soulfood and then a trip to san jose.
went to the mall to meet up with my cousin's college friend. bought a gray knit beanie and a superman halloween costume for Sukie (SO EXCITED TO SEE HIM WEAR IT!) we got some thai food afterward and instead of refilling water, they kept coming at us with thai tea. i loved that.
after we were stuffed, we headed to the drive-in movie place. i was hella excited because i've only seen that kind of stuff on Grease. for the price of $6.75 we watched You Again, The Other Guys, and The Town. we drove from screen to screen munching on snacks and covered in blankets in the trunk of my cousin's car. i would so bring a hot date there.

got home at 3am and knocked out. had to wake up to flyer for leadership @ 9am.

i still need fucking donations for leadership.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

leadership

what the fuck was i thinking. i thought leadership wouldn't be that time-consuming. I WAS SO WRONG. but i'm pretty happy with it. i love inserting my own opinions about events and what not.

so much work though. but i'm making friends and getting more involved in school so i'm thinking IT'S WORTH IT. but it's bout to get fucking hectic! later on in the year.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Happy 18th Birthday!

Chiravann Uch - you're finally legal.
i remember when i couldn't spell your name right because it's so fucking long.
i remember how you hate taking showers because being lazy shits on showering.
i remember how we'd talk and gossip until we'd fall asleep.
i remember when you gathered all your stuffed animals together and told me to take a family picture of you and all your "children" - the funny thing about this is that you were in high school at the time.

my sister, you are legal. you can hit the clubs.
and you have hella people getting you expensive-ass gifts (not me, i'm broke.) which means PEOPLE LOVE YOU. and all anyone ever truly wants in this world is to be loved. kudos for your accomplishments.

please don't get too drunk and start biting people's fingers and yacking all over the place. let's be straightedge, shall we?

Love, Ratema Uch

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

UPDATE:

  • I got my braces off Monday. I feel different. In some ways, braces were a part of me. Hard to except change but EXCITED AS HELL cuz it's so fucking easy to brush my teeth and eat. I'm tryna munch on some corn on the cob soon. i should chew gum! i haven't done that yet.
  • I got the (internship?) with OYEA! fasho. working with Hieu, Toan, and a whole bunch of other people tryna build a youth center in Oakland, Chinatown. pretty excited for that.
  • I officially quit badminton - told Coach Fink last week.
  • I haven't been COMPLETELY failing any of my classes yet! but AP Biology is getting rough.

Life is good.. for now.

EXCEPT! my dad has a blogspot. he doesn't vent about his day or anything, he just posts Cambodian music videos from youtube. oh god. what has become of my father!

Monday, September 20, 2010

procrastination

i'm too happy and excited to do homework. that's a good excuse, right?
okay, i'm gonna regret this later.
FUCK IT!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

iPhone 4g



My aunt in Cambodia wants an iPhone 4g. (they like to show off in Cambodia). This is what my mom wrote as a reminder to buy the iPhone for her sister. i thought it was funny because she drew an apple haha. BTW - the foreign writing on the top and bottom is Cambodian.
i have all these questions running through my head with no answers.

this weekend was supposed to be fun, but it was filled with a lot more tears than needed. you can be such as asshole sometimes. i don't understand why you do the things you do or say the things you say. there were moments where i just wanted to walk home and not deal with your ass anymore.

fuck you.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

5 Lessons From High School movies.

i love yahoo.

"We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all."
-
The Breakfast Club

"If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a human being. You'd be a game-show host."
- Heathers

"Just because you're beautiful doesn't mean you can treat people like they don't matter."
- 10 Things I Hate About You

"Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter... All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you."
- Mean Girls

"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
- Ferris Bueller's Day Off



tumblr be having meaningful posts though



I'm sorry that I took a picture of a picture but I didn't want to save this on my dad's laptop.

okay, i admit i went on my sister's tumblr and saw this picture. my heart slid down into my buttcrack at that point.
KIDS these days live in such a fucked up society! like, how do you watch your children grow up calling others bitches at such young ages? I've witnessed this firsthand walking to Alex's house with my sister. a group of little boys walked by and called us "bitches" and then i see a little Asian boy say "FUCK YOU, BITCH" to the girl he was playing with. and his mom was RIGHT THERE! nearby! crazy.

propaganda at the Puma store


I saw these when I went shopping in SF with Eugene and VeganGirl. The girl working at the Puma store were wearing them and I wanted them hella bad! They're like a combination of flats and sneakers because they're pretty thin and flexible.
TOO BAD THEY'RE $105!

i don't got that kind of dough so i think next summer, i'll reward myself with some Pumas IF, and ONLY IF i pass at least 2 out of my 3 AP tests.
MOTIVATION!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

pet peeves

if i see you on facebook, i know you're not busy. SO TEXT ME THE FUCK BACK. i hate your guts.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Like a life with no living.

fuck this shit.

i feel like the biggest outcast in my 5th period. i know everyone in that class but they all have their cliques that EXCLUDE me.
insecurities are all up in my life now with school. summer allowed me to be so carefree and not give a fuck about my appearance because i CHOSE who i wanted to hang out with - and those were the people that love me whether i have armpitt stains or spinach in my teeth.

Like a square crammed into a circle
I fit in but I don't fit right
Cutting corners to be the perfect fit
but it doesn't work like that
NOT ONE BIT.

electrical surge

Searching for a power outlet
Plugging in my thoughts
These hopes and dreams i can't say out loud
My future screams memories of pain
Time for that electrical surge
Through my mind and through my veins
Giving life to what i once had
Giving hope to my dreams
Giving birth to my future
and unraveling the seams

Friday, September 10, 2010

i have these moments when i feel extremely lonely. when i'm not texting him and i'm just alone at home. my sister isn't here to crack jokes with me anymore.
parts of me hates being home because the only thing i do is eat and watch tv. i need to be with PEOPLE. i need to be out and about. it's rare for me to be alone voluntarily.

driving lesson #2

went great. we drove around Skyline and i told my instructor that i was missing the game for the lesson and he let me drive up to check the score! fasho. later on we saw Oakland High's score too.

i drove around the Skyline hills and then around the CVS parking lot. and later on around Lake Merritt. we cracked hella jokes along the way and i made sure to ask hella questions. i feel a lot more confident driving now. i just have to learn how to drive faster cuz i be driving 20 in 35 mph zone. all good in the hood - i can park in parking lots though. :]

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

magical button

i wish there was a magical button on tumblr that shows only the posts written instead of reblogged. okay, fine, i admit i still check tumblr from time to time but i haven't lately! i like pictures..

Monday, September 6, 2010

i feel like his mama sometimes,

i try to restrict him from shit but he's a big boy and he's not about to listen to me.

Jidan's wedding reception was really fun. i felt so much love in her backyard! she looked beautiful too. my first non-Cambodian wedding. and i got to dance! because i've been having the urge to dance for SO LONG.
afterparty at Chris and Sarn's had its ups and downs. by the end of it i just wanted to knock out on my bed. my mom said she was about to call the cops because she thought i was kidnapped. trippin' mama. 4 in the morning is not THAT late (SIKE!)

alcohol makes people act in many different ways. i find it funny how some people act completely normal when they're drunk.

i really need to stop making thizz faces. thizz faces are my drug.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

in over my head?

today i got interviewed for leadership and they're gonna switch me out of Digital Photo into Leadership. i don't think leadershiip will be THAT time-consuming, but i'm not one to talk. i hope i have enough time to get with it.

i've been really thinking about whether or not i should join badminton this year. ii love badminton and i love all the girls but i'm a sore loser and badminton alters my friendships when attitudes get into the mix. if i don't do badminton i can do so many other things! i can do the Spring session of SAFIRE, FINALLY participate in AYPAL May Arts, and other stuff i can't think of.
PROS AND CONS are going through my head but i think i'm gonna stick to badminton. i made a committment and formed a bond with everyone - i can't let them down.

BUT AT THE SAME TIME, it's something i think about often. yes or no?

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

not cool

in english, i had to write an essay sitting on the ground. my classes are PACKED to the point where people are forced to stand or sit on the ground.
i gotta rush to my classes to get a seat now. boo

Monday, August 30, 2010

no excitement this year,

you know during the morning of the first day of school, you're so incredibly excited that you wake up EXTRA early?

not this year.

i thought about the reasons behind this and i realized that i saw everyone i wanted to see during the summer - everyone else was just kind of whatever. i'm just anticipating the heavy workload and the bad attitudes to come, but i'm excited to AP English! i feel like i'll learn a lot and hella happy they switched me into Rapson!

so i was up in APUSH and i actually rose my hand and spoke about what i thought about the reading. usually, i don't say shit and let other people speak but this time i was like "FUCK IT, i'm gonna voice my opinions!" being in hella programs really helped me out with my speaking skills. i WANT to talk in class. i like discussions and shit. i'm excited.

afterschool, i ate and took a nap that felt so fucking goood!
keep the good times rollin'

Saturday, August 28, 2010

waterworld

i went with my cousin and family friends today. the rides were hella fun. there were some creepers, but i was really comfortable in my bathing suit (other than some maufunctions in the upper area and wedgies going down slides).

came home tired as hell and with some bad tan lines.

here's the thing about school,

it's one of those love/hate relationships.

i love getting to know new people and just chilling with friends. i love the events and i love the enthusiasm.

i do not like ignorant people and i do not like sitting through boring-ass lectures. plus stress stresses me out. i be getting those mental breakdowns where i end up not doing shit and just cry.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

SAFIRE Fun Day

Spent the day with my SAFIRE girls in Santa Cruz yesterday. i had a ton of fun.
we started by going to UC Santa Cruz and asking some of the college girls questions, ate lunch at Natural Bridges Beach. i love playing in the water and jumping in the waves!
afterward we went to the Boardwalk. my gum flew out in one of the rides and rolled off of Sophia's foot. oops. went through a laser challenge (and felt like a secret agent) and then walked through the "Fright Walk" where shit kept popping out at us. i won a duck! by doing the simplest thing ever. all i did was pick up a rubber duck from the rotating water. really, that's all you do. i named my duck Tequila ;]
for dinner we went to an Italian restaurant with hella good food and GREAT desert called the Frozen Potato. yumm
Sophia and I stole spoons from the restaurant, SHHH!

overall, it was a great day. all the girls have really positive attitudes and you just can't help but have hella fun with them.

PLUS, one of the volunteers (whose car I happened to ride shotgun in) wasn't bad looking. haha

NEVER EVER EAT DEEP-FRIED TWINKIES! CUZ DEEP-FRIED OREOS ARE SO MUCH BETTER!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

people say you have the ability to control your own emotions,

teach me.
because i find this impossible.

QUOTES OF THE DAY:
"PONYO, you're my best friend!"
"I would hit on you but I'm busy."

Monday, August 23, 2010

here's the thing,

my sister doesn't listen.
i know it.
my mom knows it.
all the guys that has tried to get at her knows it.

THIS is a problem, since she no longer lives at home and she BARELY EVER replies to my texts.

here we go.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

i got my own room

my sister moved out today. i helped her move into her dorm. my parents cut out early and i stayed to help her unpack and chill with Eugene and his roommate (who is 16 and from DC!)
overall, pretty fun. a lot of the people there are friendly. tryna have a rave party there one time. i bought myself a CAL hoodie and a hat for my dad. my sister got a hoodie as well.
collegelife seems so cool. there's just this whole aura of freedom. like "my parents aren't here so i'm not gonna pick up my dirty underwear!" yeah, it be like that sometimes.

and now i'm home. my own room, my own closet, and no sister :[

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Pet peeves

I only have two big pet peeves.
the first one is when people use the word "gay" and "retarded" as insults. This truly gets to me because these words should not be used in a negative way. Being gay is not a bad thing or something to feel bad about. And retardation is a disability, especially nothing to be used as an insult. It makes me so uncomfortable when people say these words negatively. A lot of the time I say something but I don't want to come off as the lecturing type.
My second pet peeve is when people touch my pillow. Don't put your grimy hands on my pillow cuz my face sleeps on it every night!
he doesn't realize the consequences of his actions. eating unhealthy, late night games, bad business.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I can't be with someone that thinks I'm annoying. Something has to change. But the thing is - I shouldn't have to change for anyone or anything.

Monday, August 16, 2010

a quote & business

imperfections are what makes people individuals, feel me?

the SAFIRE Summer Celebration is this Thursday and I'm hoping the people that I invited are gonna come through. There are a lot of people on the "Maybe" list on the facebook event, and I'm not feeling it. EVEN VINCENT IS ON THE "MAYBE" LIST!
I just assumed that because I go to many of THEIR events, they would support me as well. WE'LL SEE. maybe there isn't that reciprocal effect that i was hoping for.

I'm really excited for the event though. Everyone has great projects. I'm nervous to recite my spoken word piece. I need to practice and memorize that shiet. AHHHH!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Definition.

Ratema Uch cannot be found in a dictionary.
I am Cambodian,
but I don't look it.
I am Cambodian,
but I don't speak it.
I am Cambodian,
but I am defined as American.
How do we define ourselves?
Definition.
A word defined by its own definition:
The act of defining or making definite
Definition.
My parents saw death firsthand,
courtesy of the Khmer Rouge.
They hoped for a marriage
that would last overseas
- an American lifestyle
that would give them the definition of "normal".
My parents define me.
From a country where trash is more frequent than dirt
- Cambodia.
This country defines me.
From a society that plants ideas in our head
like Inception.
This society tries to define me.
As a daughter,
I work hard to make my parents proud,
but what they don't know
is that they made me proud
- Surviving a battle that took them years to overcome,
They made it.
Pass the Killing Fields
and into a big yellow house on a hill.
Their determination defines me.
Through the struggles of our parents and our ancestors,
The battles of our past,
And the hopes and dreams of our future.
There are some things in life that cannot be defined in one sentence.
And I stand among them.
I am defined by the endeavors of my parents,
the success of my sister,
the ghosts of Cambodia,
and the births of my future.
I am above the definition.

- written by me but rearranged by Christsna Sot :]

here's what happened

the more i got to know you, the more i didn't like you. but that's just you.

EVERYONE ELSE goes like this - the more i got to know you, the more i grew to LOVE YOUR ASS! that's how it is most of the time for me. i like to think i'm a positive person on the outside, but on the inside - negativity runs wild.

Friday, August 13, 2010

summer pictures

i have none. i don't carry a camera around with me and i guess the people i hang out with don't carry cameras around with them either. oh well. imma stick with these facebook pictures that i steal from other people's albums - the ones from prom, graduation, etc.

i'm slowly morphing into Vincent. oh god.

Wishing on a shooting star

Yesterday was an ideal summer day for me.
Went to Safire from two to six and then met up with Eugene and Cameron to watch Step Up 3D. The plot was laughable when it was supposed to be serious but the dancing was on point. Afterwards my sister and I met up with Souriya and Sidney to go watch the meteor shower in the Berkeley hills. There was a whole mobb of people we knew that were already there.
My sister and I rode in the trunk of souriya's car cuz there was no room. Bad choice. Never again. We migrated from the Berkeley hills to Grizzly Peak, where it was much less foggy.
Everyone kept seeing shooting stars and I didn't see shit, but when I finally did, I was hella excited. The shooting stars and possibly meteors kept coming! I was glad to spend it with the people around me. Jojo and Vincent got excited to see an airplane, acting like it was such a rare sighting.

Jojo: ew what the fuck is that?! Oh it's just Arthur.

There was hella roasting going on. We went to Denny's after and waiting hella long for food, cracking jokes with the waitress and secruity guard. Even though I got hone at like 4 or 5 in the morning, it was so worth it.

Damn straight I made a wish on that shooting star.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

i like to take unattractive pictures,

i can't camera whore anymore. camera whoring is full of fake smiles. i'd rather document REAL smiles. those are the ones i want to remember always.

i'm not gonna blast this shit on facebook,

but i WILL blast it on blogspot.

TEAM EUGENE.

Monday, August 9, 2010

STP

i love my STP family.
by the end of the retreat, i felt so GOOD. i let everything out and appreciated everyone who shared those stories. i told people how much they meant to me and i felt so light and free. i felt comfortable talking to every one of them and i'm so glad i met these people.

i noticed the difference in people once i got back in Oakland. they were nicer, more open, and understanding.
shit, i would do it again any day of the week. :D

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

i really want to just blurt out,

BRUHH, YOU'RE HELLA CHEESY. is my sister really changing your life right now? you guys JUST started hanging out a week ago!
this is unbelievable. i like you, you're cool and all - but you're falling in way too deep, way too fast. should you really be buying her a $50 watch after like two dates? OH GODDD, i don't understand this.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

passion

the other day, my sister told me that she thinks making out is over-rated. i completely disagree. and then i tell her this story:
"on the day Vincent asked me out, he picked me up and kissed me. when i was off the ground and feeling his lips on mine, i literally felt like the world was spinning around me and when i opened my eyes, i was surprised that we were still at the same spot."

my sister broke down laughing - maybe it was all the hand gestures i told along with the story. but THIS is what i remember like it was yesterday. THIS is what makes making out anything but over-rated. it just has to be with the right person.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

turkeys

Shane: hey guys, do you wanna see a family of turkeys?
Uch's: YEAH! YEAH!
Shane: *points* well they were there the last time i was here.
Me: so you're showing us where they used to be?
Shane: basically.

coo.

Friday, July 30, 2010

cockblock

my sister hasn't been interested in snagging a boyfriend for a while, and i understand but for SOME REASON guys keep lurking around her like she's a goddess and she keeps shoo-ing them away.
i know she wants me to cockblock, but people always stop me. i need to call for backup - Vincent Saephan is always an excellent cockblocker.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

brothers

sure, i don't have any blood brothers, but i have people that may as well be my brother.

my Cambodian brother Christsna, who inspires me in so many ways. his poetry gives me chills and motivates me to the max.
then there's my cousin, Bothy. He's in the marines right now but he might as well be my brother. very protective son of a gun and funny as hell. i miss him.
he might as well be my "brother-in-law" - Austin Chao. i like to talk to him about specific problems and tell him pointless stories that i know he doesn't give a shit about. i very much enjoy this relationship.
and i can't forget about that boy, Eugene Wing Lau. he cracks me up. he's really like an older brother to me. if only he would marry my sister. i love to kid around with him and tell him stupid stories.

i'm missing out

i could've been in Hawaii right now. the only reason i'm not in Hawaii is because there is a possible Yosemite trip going on on Sunday. it's not official, but if it ends up not happening, i will be very frustrated. BAD TIMING

Monday, July 26, 2010

hate

i hated this girl for so long because of ONE thing she did.
but after being creeper and reading her tumblr, i decided that no one wants to be hated. no one deserves to be hated for such a stupid reason.

every girl in this world can relate to each other and i felt like i could relate to her. she wrote things that i only thought. she wrote things that i don't have the guts to say out loud. and i give her props for that.

hate is such a strong word, it should not be used too often.

making shit happen

today has been full of great news. went to the dentist and found out i only have TWO MORE MONTHS with these braces. BOOYAH! i am so excited.

AND

i asked my dad if i could get a new phone soon. and now i'm going to get a new phone tomorrow morning! FUCK YES.

Friday, July 23, 2010

high expectations

for once, i want something to exceed my expectations. sure, plenty of movies have exceeded my expectations but i want EVENTS.

planning this hike is getting me hyped up. i hope everything goes well cause i am the biggest SCREW-UP. my head hurts so bad right now.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

after sneaking on to my sister's tumblr,

i snapped back into reality. there is just one thing i truly hate about tumblr. it's actually not a thing, it's a who. but whatever. the only reason i went on my sister's tumblr was 'cause i'm bored and only half-paying attention to the tv i'm watching.

i would like to get hella fucking tan so people will actually think i'm Cambodian.

back-to-school advertisements

once these commercials start showing about going back to school with "a whole new look", i get sad. 'cause that means school is approaching and summer is ending. the saddest time of the year. but i DO love back-to-school shopping. too back i got no moolah.

i haven't done shit this summer. i've just been lounging around, hanging out with people here and there. what i really want to do this summer is go to Hawaii for a week. but that's not happening. oh well. ALL GOOOD IN MY HOOOD.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Monday, July 19, 2010

"no, you don't understand."

Okay, I understand that you're going through a tough time and I'm trying my best to cheer you up, but I just can't do it. I really hate it when you're trying to comfort a friend and they tell me I don't understand. Yes, I know. It's very unlikely that I DO understand your position or what you're going through, but I'm just trying to be a good friend. So don't give me attitude please. The point is that I am TRYING to understand. Isn't that enough?
It's the thought that counts. I'm not gonna apologize for never being in your shoes before. I'm just trying to cheer a friend up, and I guess I kind of suck at doing so.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

i want to grow some balls

i want to have the guts to say "hey baby, you looking fine!" at a random stranger.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

who are you people? and what on earth are you trying to tell me?

love at first site

this only exists when you're incredibly attractive, 'cause that's what catches people's eye. it's the truth.
society is full of shallow mothafuckas.

Friday, July 16, 2010

taking pictures

i can't get myself to camerawhore. i find so many little imperfections in my pictures that i just give up.
i prefer candid pictures. i really want a candid picture of me laughing. just to show pure happiness.

goodbye tumblr

you have consumed my life for too long. you distract me with pictures and occasional stories with my name in it. you cause me conflict with friends and allow me to want to shut a bitch up. you've made me laugh, you've made me tear, but now you are gone.
with you, i have better-developed friends but not you are gone. because i can make friends by my own damn self.

if you want an update on my life, don't check my tumblr. if i knew you well enough, you would already know all the stories i post on tumblr.

and for my thoughts, well you'll be documented right here on blogspot. my first-choice blogging home.

to be completely honest, tumblr is full of people that relate to eachother and then complain together. it's a place where people get at eachother sideways about what they post and then contradict themselves. we all know if we "unfollow" you, that you'd get fucking butthurt.

and so you are gone tumblr. passed on to the next generation. SIKE. hella people still use tumblr.

the TRUTH about love.

you find love when you’re not looking.

i’m serious.

i read this in a magazine a couple years ago and i thought it was pure BULL. but freshman year, i was going with the flow and not looking for any kind of relationship and then FatBoi hits me like a football to the nose (Brady Bunch flashback! anyone remember that episode?)
maybe, you think what i’m writing is complete shit, but i’m just getting it out there. contradict it all you want, but just wait until it happens to you.

"I can tell you love him by the way you look at him."

is this real? are you kidding me? can you really tell if someone loves the other person JUST by the way he/she looks at them?
i think about this sometimes when i look at Vincent. like, “can they tell? does anyone notice? if i look at that guy on the corner, will someone think i love him too?”
i think this is lightweight bullshit. yeah, i smile at him, but i also laugh, roll my eyes, and “playfully” hit him. can they tell i love him by the way i slap his arm? damn, i must be so readable. THESE PEOPLE KNOW MY LIFE! except they don’t.

this is all shit they lead you to believe in chick flicks. although i love chick flicks, some of them should really be called SHIT flicks. HAHA i think i’m clever.

me: Austin, I can tell you love Suki by the way you look at him.
A: what the fuck are you talking about?


By the way, this conversation never actually happened. but Suki is his dog. so i thought it was funny. maybe not.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

boobies

i guess you can say i have small boobs. i receive a lot of criticism because of this. purely from family of course.
my sister has encouraged me to stuff my bra. she has also advised me to gain weight in order to get bigger breasts, and then try to loose it. what a wonderful sister i have.
my mother has poked fun at my boobs. whenever we go bra shopping, she picks up Bcups and tells me to try them on. i tell her they're too big and show her my 32A bra and she goes, "you're boobs aren't THAT small, are they?"

yup, that's me and my twins down there.
well fuck it. there are so many good things about having these puppies. (i always hear people with big boobs COMPLAIN.)
small boobs means i can show more cleavage cause there really ain't nothing to show. smaller boobs means less nipple-slips in bathing suits.. actually that's not completely true.
OH WELL. i'm fine with my boobs. i'm not just fine with them, i'm HAPPY with them. try to change my mind and i'll kick your shins :]

Sunday, July 11, 2010

you are my therapy.

talking to you is so easy for me. you know how to make me feel better in any situation. even if i just need a hug.

i would never change this relationship.

Monday, July 5, 2010

what happened to bedtime?

i've been sleeping hella late lately. last night i came home at four in the morning. oh god.

sleeping has turned into knocking out.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Twilight Saga

i admit, in the beginning i was hella excited for Twilight and shit. TEAM JACOB. but now, with all this hype, i'm not that interested anymore.
i'll still watch the movies, but i'd rather watch it on bootleg than spend $10.50 on that shit.
all these girls that go crazy over Twilight has made me lose interest. and when i think about it, i was only excited for Twilight shit cause other people were (plus i enjoyed seeing Jacob Black shirtless). so now as Eclipse comes out (like right now), i'm planning on bootlegging that shit.

this is just my thoughts about it. the movies are kinda awkward anyway.

Monday, June 28, 2010

happy summer

this past weekend was pretty beast.

FRIDAY.
went to Chinatown. chilled with Eugene and the sister. took the bus! to Sarn's.
shit went down and it was hella fun! dranks.
i made new friends. Steven and Jonathan. and Tien. nice guys. (wait, why are they all guys?)

SATURDAY.
went to Chris's, which is also Sarn's house. played cards. hella fucking funny. dranks part too. people were high, it was hilarious.
went to see Grown Ups with cousins afterwards. funny movie.

SUNDAY.
walked to Diamond park to watch the football game and then played some badminton. went to Austin's. In-n-out and then Alameda beach. stayed until that one boy, BigBossV came home from Detroit.

he got me hella shirts from Detroit :]

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

lazy days like this,

are the reasons i love summer.

except i have the burden of summer assignments weighing me down. i need to start them soon. maybe next week..

Monday, June 21, 2010

AYPAL

i love AYPAL. i would definitely go back next year.

won BEST HYPHY WIFEY award though!

Vincent is in Detroit.

and so the week without him begins. gonna try to reconnect with friends. i thought i was a complete loser without him, but that's a lie! i have friends. i've made friends through him and vice versa.
i'll miss him, but it's time for me to realize that i'm cool. haha i'm not a complete loser, i'm just a loser. but i'm a loser with friends.

this is an awkward post. haha

i'm happy that he's going to have fun this week. i'm going to make the most out of this week and then celebrate when he comes back. PARTY!

Friday, June 18, 2010

last day of school

i was kinda sad i didn't get to spend my entire lunch just chilling with the homies. oh well.

went to Vincent's afterschool, then Chinatown, then Target, then back to Vincent's house, then Hot Pot City, then back to Vincent's house once again.

the day was cool. ended great. =]
good way to kick off summer.

and now i'm chilling at home with no plans whatsoever. hmm Lizzie McGuirre movie is on. BOOYAH!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Thursday, June 10, 2010

graduation

a bittersweet accomplishment.

even though my sister isn't going that far away, i'm still hella sad. i cried when the three girls were singing. it's change. no more waking up with my sister to go to Skyline. she'll be living in the dorms and i'll practically be an only child. god, i wish i had a dog.

she's the closest person to me and now i'll end up talking to myself while watching tv. i wish i had another sibling.

oh well, time to enjoy my last summer with that one girl

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

random compliment

Justin Saephan: Did i ever tell you that you have a really nice voice? Like in Mr. Hard's class last year, i always woke up from napping when you talked.
this made me happy.

Monday, June 7, 2010

secret life of an american teenager

this show is terrible. all they talk about is sex and pregnancy. the plots revolve around Amy and Ricky. i watch this show for laughs. it's so annoying. they all talk really slow and it's baaad acting.

everyone should watch Glee instead.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

conflicting schedules and shit like that

can we get an entire day to hang out please? this one day a week thing is working my nerves because it's not even A DAY, it's a couple of hours. and then POOF! it's all over and i have to wait til the next weekend.

all i ever do is complain. i must be really annoying..

Monday, May 24, 2010

i am not a morning person.

first period is not my energetic period.

the end of the year is approaching! i can't wait. i really just want the free feeling of freedom. i kind of want to go to the LIMCA camping trip now. but i don't got the dough to go. hmm, i have some decisions to make.

blahhh

Sunday, May 23, 2010

happy Sunday.

yesterday was cool. seniors got fucked up. just kidding, not really.

today i walked around with Eugene and my sister around downtown Oakland and Lake Merritt. went to the fabric store and library where we saw Will and Tiffany. went to watch Iron Man 2 and ended up disappointed. i was already tired and kept almost falling asleep during the movie. it needed more ACTION! i wanted to be at the edge of my seat but instead, i kept dozing off.

i forgot to wear my ring today so to fill my empty fingers, i made a ring out of paper. i thought it turned out pretty fucking hot.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

jitters

i'm hella excited for Skyline Senior Prom 2010 and i'm not even going.
i hope everyone has fun! i'm pretty sure my sister will look gorgeous. watch out, Eugene.

Friday, May 21, 2010

who said you have to buy new clothes for every new school year?

i'm gonna go shopping for cheapass clothes and not step foot in a mall.
hitting up Berkeley and Alameda. hello Lauren's Closet.
i feel like i have too many clothes to begin with, so why blow hella money on things i don't need?

did you see what Lady Gaga was wearing?

i used to be really into celebrity shit. i was on justjared.com everyday. i got it from my cousins. i wanted to know what was happening with the latest hot celebrities and what they were wearing. i wanted the early sneak peaks on shows like Gossip Girl. i hated missing a day of my celebrity gossip.

now, i don't give a shit. these people aren't my family or friends. why should i be updated about their daily lives? all i know about them are who they're supposedly dating and what movies they've starred in. this celebrity gossip shit is time consuming and unnecessary. i'm glad i stopped keeping up with it.

now that i kicked the celebrity gossip habit, time to kick the constant tumblr habit.

Monday, May 17, 2010

there are comments on my blogs but i can't read 'em.
mysteries are frustrating. malfunction!

make your own fucking sandwich.

not a lot of people know this, but i'm really into women's rights.
i love feminism. female empowerment gets me excited.
it gets me fired up. especially whenever some stupid guy tells me to make him a sandwich or acts like he owns me.

BITCH, PLEASE.
i am not property. you do not own me just because i'm "supposed" to be a housewife for the rest of my life.
yes, i be getting angry.
i feel like i would've been those ladies that burned their bras back in the day.
OH HAYYY! i like playing with fire.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

reasons why,

i don't wear makeup cause i have no desire to.
plus, makeup costs hella dough.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

there's nothing on TV on Saturdays.

people need to start being open to try new things. stop fucking complaining. if you weren't expecting to spend money, then why are you here? it's called GOING OUT to dinner.

in other news, this weekend might end up being a bust for me. parents are going through their overprotective phase again. i think it's the mistrust coming into play. this frustrates the hell out of me.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

serenity

i don't know why i'm so calm.
everyone is freaking out about the AP exam next week and i'm just going with the flow. i'm studying a little each day. ever since i got my MOCK exam essays back, i haven't been stressing myself out.

i'll get what i deserve. cause that's life.

i'm just waiting to use my huge watergun i won at the AYPAL block party. bouta soak those suckahs ;)

Monday, May 3, 2010

feeling helpless

there's this curse i made up in my head. i never told anyone. i don't even want to type it. i have this prediction that after a certain amount of time, a couple hits a weak spot and breaks up.
its the ___ ____ break up curse.

i'm scared because i feel things falling apart and i don't know how to deal with it.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

happy week

this week has been happy. maybe cause we didn't have to go to all our classes in one day and we had EXTRA long lunches. i've been having hella fun at lunch these days.

CST testing isn't that bad and teachers have been taking it easy on us for a while. Strike day tomorrow and i plan to go to the library in Chinatown with my sister and Eugene to study for upcoming AP tests. then i have to go to practice. not feeling it but all good. i love my badminton girls.

SPEAKING OF BADMINTON, today was our last official game. against Oakland High - our rivals. lets just say we whooped them and they weren't too happy about it. we are officially OAL Champs this year. =] next week will be the tournaments for the top players, which excludes me. so i'll just be chilling.

bumming around, feel me?

Monday, April 26, 2010

everyone was so happy today. it made me happy. lunch was hella long and i enjoyed it very much.

i got home, and got slightly stressed. instead of going out on Thursday, i'm gonna catch up on homework and start studying for my AP exam. i plan on doing this because even though the teachers are on strike, i still have badminton practice T.T. if i didn't have practice, i woulda went to the LIMCA ylo.

oh, the opportunities.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

i have these nervous moments where i want to say something, but i say nothing.
i don't have the courage to say some things. i get intimidated.
old habit. not sure how to kick it.

but i had a good day today. kasoy = yummy in the tummy.

battlescars, feel me?

i'm disappointed. because i see potential, but it's overshadowed. i'm fucking disappointed.

today was quite satisfying - went to Earth Day and hung out with Eugene. we both fell GRACEFULLY on our asses. i came out with a booboo, but i just consider it a battlescar from trying to save the earth.
at the study session, i hung out with Chris and we freaked out together, talked about life, and basically got things cracking. cause if we don't get things cracking, failure is inevitable.

afterwards, my sister and i hung out with Petora to make TACOS! had hella fun goofing around. tacos were hella good. Vincent was only there briefly because he had other duties to attend.

i'm tired. i wish i had a dog to cuddle with..

Friday, April 23, 2010

there are trees, but no leaves

i got all this anger built up inside of me. not sure where it's coming from.

today was a great day. i love Fridays. i ended up not having to write my essay. i will write it Tuesday.

WARNING: VENT, VENT, VENT!
you are hella fucking cocky. you're smart, but you're lazy. i don't understand. whenever i even consider copying your shit, you give me this degrading look but you copy my work that i've worked my fucking ass off on.
i know you're good at the sport, but don't contradict yourself. freshmen can beat you if they have the skills to. calm the hell down.
okay, i'm done.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

the beginning of this week was really stressful for me. i had so much homework and stuff i needed to do but so little time. it really put a damper in the sunshine i imagine in my head.

but i got hella shit done. finished work early and now i have time to blog! i'm proud of myself.

i would really like a relaxing weekend now. please and thank you.

Monday, April 19, 2010

feel me?

i'm pretty sure there's a stench coming from me right now.
i need to shower.

it's frustrating how when i'm busy you're not and vice versa. boo, that's not cool.

so i was writing myself a note out of 5th today and Mr. Hwang saw it and was confused. any normal teacher would've yelled at me or given me detention but he just told me it was stupid because i already had a real reason to get out of 5th period so i didn't have to lie. whatever, i'm smart. he hella chill though.

i am not accepting any suspicious baked goods tomorrow. i know what you kids are up to! i'm tryna get my education on, feel me?

Sunday, April 18, 2010

give me a hug, you fool

i'm hella affectionate. i've been like this since i was little.
cuddle time is my favorite time. i always rest my head on people's shoulders. i don't know why. i just love physical contact.
makes me happy.
makes me feel safe.
makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

good days after a terrible one

Thursday sucked.

Friday was fun. AYS assembly was great, only went to one class that day and i felt so light and happy. did laundry with Vincent and went to Sushi House and smashed on some annoying little girls.

Today was tiring but entertaining. woke up at six AM to sun the lake with Vincent, my sister, Nora, and Peter. Vincent let me drive for a quick second and i was HELLA confused! i cannot drive.
running was relaxing. i would do it more often if i had that type of determination in me.
went to Cal Day in Berkeley afterwards. SO MUCH WALKING! but it was fun with Eugene and my sister. doing random shit and checking out the dorms.
now my legs and feet are KILLING ME!

today was such a beautiful day.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

i have the strong urge to cry for a reason that people might find stupid. but i see it as failure.
i am not feeling good about myself right now.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

what the hell is love?

they give me definitions and i still don't understand.
i don't feel it the way i think i should.
i'm confused.

i'm expecting something to hit me: "YOU'RE IN LOVE! YOU'RE IN LOVE!" i get nothing. i thought it hit me, but the only thing that hit me was disappointment.
i need guidance.

i'm lying to myself. if i ever say "i love you", i want to truly mean it. i want to be confident in what i'm saying. i want to feel the happiness explode inside of me.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

monkey in the middle

i hate being stuck in the middle. it calls for awkwardness because i refuse to take sides. it's just not right. WHY ME?

lately, i've been thinking about colleges and what i want to do with my life. you know what? i got all the time in the world to figure things out. no need to rush anything. i'm just going to live life, do my homework, and pray for happiness in return.

HAPPY CAMBODIAN NEW YEAR! we may not get money like all you lunar new year homies, but we get schmacking fooood. i don't enjoy taking moolah from family anymore. i'm young. i got time to earn moneys later.

Monday, April 12, 2010

You know what's annoying? everything, when you're on your period.
I may be slow at times, but i am not stupid

Sunday, April 11, 2010

San Francisco

i love going to San Francisco for a number of reasons. the environment is just different from Oakland. i love all the fashionable people click-clacking in their heels. they inspire me. i love the malls and the possibilities that await among the clothes selling everywhere. i love the street vendors where i can buy a panda hat, like the one i already have.

one trip on BART is all it takes.

homework Sunday

feeling pretty good cause i got my outlines done on Friday. boomshakalaka.

mann, so i bought this purple v-neck yesterday and i realized that my friend has the exact same one. now i don't wanna wear it anymore. fuck it. i'm gonna wear cause i don't give a rat's ass, feel me?

so i'm gonna have a "homework party" today and all i have to do are notecards and my french project so i believe i am pretty solid.

UGGGH, i hate that i misheard him because i got so happy when i thought him say the word, "love". but it's all good. he was still tryna be sweet and i adore him for that.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

hangin' wit da homies

i'm starting to feel misplaced around the people i'm pretty close with. it's little things that get me. it makes for awkward situations when they talk about a certain topic. mixed emotions. gahhh

i love my old friends. the girls i've known since elementary and middle school. Courtney makes everything fun. i haven't seen her for hella long but she's still the same old Courtney, making fun of me and cracking jokes. i miss all those times i've spent in middle school with her.

i need more time with my old friends. i miss them. i was watching TV with Allison today and i fell asleep and she kept laughing at me cause i supposedly twitch while i sleep. i blame Vincent!

overall, today was a pretty cool day. it was chill to say the least. i gotta visit Tiffany more often. i love her family.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

when a heart breaks, no it don't break even

sometimes i get hella irritated. people just like to mess with me cause i'm an easy target.

i had some goods and bads of today. the bads always seem to haunt me until the next day's events. i just want spring break and relaxation.

i'm excited to go camping. =] rolling with the homies. i'm expecting it to be a blast, the combination of entertaining people is ridiculous. time to tan? okay, why the hell not?

i don't know why i give people relationship advice. not like i know shit about relationships. i guess because my relationship is (kinda) smooth, but i don't want to give people bad advice and hear the backlash. too much pressure. i'm just trying to help. but then again, sometimes i "try to help" and get ignored in return because people think the things i say are meaningless and random and totally irrelevant to their lives.

all i want to do is make people happy. but i also want to make myself happy. fuck the world, i'm going to bed.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

tomorrow is APRIL FOOLS!

i don't feel this impossible hatred against her. i did for a little bit, but i don't anymore. cause she was my rock for so long so i just don't know anymore. let nature run its course? okay, if you say so.

i love one-on-one days SO much better than when we're in a group. it just helps assert our connection that can sometimes feel lost with our busy schedules. boo.

we won against Tech today. can you say UNDEFEATED? yeah thats right.
Badminton girls had to wear our entire sweats outfit today. people teased me but a lot of people said i looked cute. simple compliments brighten up my day. i guess wearing the sweats helps people know when we have games. YAY BADMINTON FANS!

which reminds me of how much i LOVE going to GGBC. it's the greatest place in the world. but the birdies hurt like a mofo when it hits you. hardass feathers.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

next year? so soon.

i feel like i won't be able to handle the workload next year.
i feel like i'm setting myself up for failure.
ahhhh, or maybe i'm tripping over nothing.
i'm challenging myself, right?

Sunday, March 21, 2010

i don't care if you have a mustache, you're my best friend, whether you like it or not.

when you told me i was your best friend, i was in disbelief. i didn't believe it cause you always said "Guys can't have girl best friends, it just doesn't work."

i asked you again, "Am i really your best friend?" and you said of course.
it was too good to be true.

as cheesy as it is, it made my heart soar and it brought the biggest smile on my face, cause i felt like we were on the same page for once and i wanted the night never to end.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

best friends

crack up laughing at ridiculous things that don't seem funny to anyone else.

best friends are what motivate me too live everyday to the fullest, cause i'm just awaiting the next time we'll laugh our asses off, throw granola at random people, and talk all night until we eventually fall asleep.

my best friends are Chiravann Uch and Chrystal Nguyen.

and i can't forget about Nora Kim Saing, cause no matter how long it's been since i've last seen her, i know she's always there for me and ready to talk shit in Cambodian about anyone who hurts me. i've known this girl since before i learned how to ride a bike.

i love best friends.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

fremont kid pulled through!

yes, thank you Stephen Chou, who did not know what mien was before i met you. finally proved to me that you're not an idiot and a slacker.

i've been stressing for no reason. finally starting to relax and it feels damn good. every Saturday i manage to forget about all the schoolwork and have FUN. this is why i love the weekend. but then Sunday comes and fucks me up.

Saturdays > Sundays

Friday, March 12, 2010

Thursday, March 11, 2010

many things have changed since middle school

you used to be my best friend, but now we barely talk. i realized i never had those ridiculously fun and hilarious sleepover nights with you. i realized we weren't actually best friends. it was just a label.

i can't confide in you. i know you care, but it's weird. i feel like you wouldn't understand any of the things i'm going through. and now, after all this time thinking i knew you, i realized that i really just don't know you at all anymore.
now you're with him. now you get defensive. now i'm afraid you'll get hurt but at the same time i'm pissed cause you thought you should hide this kind of thing from me.

now it's all different.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

confident or cocky?

either one screws me over.

i thought i was gonna win and i had that cocky mind-set that sent me lower and lower on the badminton ranks. so now i'm below a couple freshmen. it was a close game. not gonna say i wasn't pissed, but i knew i could always challenge up later.

i'm a sore loser. i find an excuse for everything. but GODDAMMIT, i'm coming back up and you freshmen better watch your backs. on da real doe.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

i'm making a CD. i'm trying really hard not to fill it with love songs.

Friday, March 5, 2010

i was never a shoehead, but damn talk about a shoegasm


i want to invest in some pretty sneakers. no Vans this time. maybe Nikes or Keds like this one up top - $30 and eco-friendly with organic cotton! definite WANT. if only i had a credit card.

zzz..

i've been tired for the past two days. i just want to crash when i get home but there's always homework. i don't sleep at outrageous hours, i think it's just a mental thing.

summer sounds better and better each day.

today was friends day in badminton. i really wanted to show off my skills but i had an off day so it went booboo. it's coo though. another day, i'll show you suckahs who's boss.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

things my conscience is telling me to do right now:

  • study for next friday's 2 chapter quiz
  • do my essay that's due monday
  • start my outline that's due monday
  • read a book, any book
  • color my french poster that's due friday
of course, i'm probably not gonna do any of this tonight. maybe color my french poster. just cause i think it'd be funzies.

i thought i improved in badminton.

but i'm about the same. makes me sad. i know winning isn't everything, but goshdarnit - I NEED TO WIN! because winning feels oh-so-gooood =]

and i get hella pissed when i lose. get to know my poker-face suckahs

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

is this what prank calls have come to?

it's 11:30-something at night. i'm knocked out i suddenly my phone vibrates: "RESTRICTED CALLER"
here's how the conversation goes:
me: hullo?
caller: *whispers* i'm going to kill you.
me: okay.
caller: alright.
i hang up.

i really thought this was a dream - it wasn't.

the next day, it's 5:16 in the evening and i get another "RESTRICTED CALLER" call
me: hello?
caller: *whispers* can i kill you?
me: what?
caller: can i kill you?
me: when you whisper i can't understand you SO YOU FAIL!
i hang up.

oh yes, i'm on to you. i know who you are.

Monday, March 1, 2010

oblivious people, surprising numbers, and cheaters

i don't understand why people talk about people less than a few feet away from them. it's like they don't think we can hear you, when in fact - we can.

today we had to take height/weight in PE for the 2nd time this year. i hella expected to gain weight cause i've not been watching what i eat AT ALL. turns out i lost weight. wtf? i lost like 8 to 9 pounds since the beginning of the year. ayeee! wassup! all that badminton conditioning.

AND i grew 0 inches! still solid at 5'2"

what's up with all the cheaters? and i don't mean cheating on tests, i mean cheating on your significant other. if you're gonna cheat, why don't you just break up? save the other person some pain.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

is it Christmas yet?!

sometimes when i'm shopping, i see something that i KNOW one of my friends will like and i just want to buy it for them as a random present.
but then i remember, i'm not rolling in dough.

goshdarnit, it seems like it's Christmas season all year long in my head. i just love buying people presents when i have money.

chubby little girl

sometimes she's confident, most of the time she's not.
and you told me she wasn't going anywhere until her confidence comes back.

yesterday was interesting. cockblocking really does piss people off. forreals.
we had to have a talk. i maybe got two or more sentences out before we both broke down.
all good in the end though. =]

cheesepuffs are SO addicting! you can't just eat ONE, you need another and another and another.

went to Extended Stay America hotel for a "Call of Duty tournament" LOL, sounds pretty nerdy but it was chill. so much junk food consumed yesterday!

ended the night with a quick nap and a sleepy Vincent drifting off the road to take me home. (next time i'll let him nap longer)
my sister is eating applesauce.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

when people talk shit about some anonymous person on their blog, inside, i think they're talking about me. it's unlikely but it's still in my head.
i wonder if people think i'm annoying...

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

if you wanna be a leader, don't give attitude to those you're trying to encourage.
it doesn't work.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

badminton conditioning

stop underestimating us, you fools!
badminton burns more calories than basketball so SUCK ON THAT!

so badminton conditioning has started. wasn't as bad as i thought it'd be. but now i'm hella sore below my waist and i waddle everywhere cause it's too painful to walk normally.

some freshmen seriously annoy me. they said they're only going to conditioning to "work out", well fuck, if you're gonna join us, stop bitching and moaning and do what they tell you. when they say your knees have to touch the ground when we do striders, you besta get those ashy knees of yours on the fucking ground! stop slacking off cause this is serious business.

i may be slow, but i get things done. stop fucking around.

and that was my rant of the day =]

CAN'T WAIT TO BE DONE WITH CONDITIONING AND START HITTING THAT BIRDIE AROUND! AYYYEEE!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

i feel unstoppable

chemistry final - no sweat.
hit me with your best shot, AP World History!!! (actually take it easy on me, please =] )

Sunday, January 17, 2010

work-load is growing heavier.
all i want to do is waste time.

Monday, January 4, 2010

saying those three words.. makes me nervous.
i'm always scared of the reaction.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

it's the new year,

and i have only TWO new years resolutions:
  1. open my Christmas presents on CHRISTMAS! no earlier, unless it's a secret santa or Vincent.
  2. wear that watch i bought ages ago for hella moneys that i never wear.