this time last year vs. right now,

Last year, I hung out with hella STP folks. Kicked it with older cats. Had fun, but always felt just a little bit left out because of the age difference.

This year, I'm hanging out with people my own age. We have hella shit in common. I'm closer to some than others. But I've definitely been enjoying myself.

The change was for the better in the end.

Rat a Tat Tat is growing up...

So lately I've been wearing mascara. It's amazing how many people notice, since I usually wear ZERO make-up. Mascara is just so easy. I feel like if I wore eyeliner, I would draw hella crooked lines on my eyelids. Hard times.

And so the make-up adventures begin.

No homework, no worries.

I'm hella excited for this weekend. Actually, just SATURDAY.

• Shopping with Miranda in SF ( I need to buy presents for Mitch, Austin, Vincent, Shane, and mah two grannies. I also need prom earrings! Tryna be a tad bit flashy.)
• Probably gonna fuck around and try on random dresses we can't afford.
• Hairspray at night! Tryna support Donna, since she has more than one line this year. GET IT GIRL.
• Fenton's afterwards. It will be Miranda's first time there and I'm tryna get them to sing happy birthday to her since her 18th was Tuesday. Plus I want fries. 
• HUGE sleepover at Jeneba's! Best believe we will all be on as fuck. I hope I don't end up sleeping on the ground... that shit ain't cool. But AYEEE, keep it lit.

Winter break is so close, just one more week of school! Then Winterball, then my 18th, then Teacher Talent Show, then AYS assembly, then prom, then who gives a fuck what comes next. (GRADNITE!)

Back in Action

Tumblr is not a happy place for me anymore, but I'm not tryna quit that shit cold turkey. My friends are on Tumblr, along with funnyass shit.

It's been a year since I've hopped on to this blog. I've been enjoying my senior year. Partying and kicking it with a new group of friends. Granted, I really miss those nights where we'd stay up HELLA late playing spades, but it's good.

I'm not completely comfortable with these new people I've been kicking it with. More comfortable with some than others. I guess I fear judgement, but at the same time, I give no fucks about what they think about me. Conflicting feelings.

don't just come because it's fun again...

so now that they heard that SAFIRE went on a fun retreat and whatnot, they want to come back. i don't like this. you only come because you want to get paid and have fun - you should come because you believe in what you're fighting for!

at the same time, it's whatever because SAFIRE could use more girls, but we need girls that get shit DONE! not girls that take the backseat and watch everything happen.

SO IRRITATED!

the worst part is - there's no one to vent to. i talked to my sister about problems but i don't get too deep into it.

ever feel like crying but not sure why? yeah, i get that a lot.

i feel distant. i'm so sick of the "usual" shit. the "usual" talks and the "usual" debbie downers in converstations.

i don't know, i feel like the only other person that understands what i'm going through is my sister.

unhappy

school is terrible for me. i only look forward to one class: leadership. that's the only class where socializing is encouraged and i actually get to make a difference in my school by fundraising and whatnot. AND I'm appreciated for the work i put in!

I dread Ms. Mac's class. I think she's SO rude! she makes her students feel like idiots, because i know she makes ME feel like an idiot.
Mr. Drovin is just ridiculous. Because i'm in French 3, he never talks in english so i stop listening.
THIRD PERIOD LEADERSHIP, i look forward to this class.
Ms. Bale's class is naptime.
I like Rapson's class - my essays aren't bad.

AP Bio is the worst. i should have listened to Nhi when he told me not to take it.