hate that i love you ... lightweight

accepting this was definitely easier than i thought. why didn't i do this sooner?

i'm not a jealous person. okay that was a straight up lie. i get as jealous as the next person, but i'm not like crazy jealous! some people just need to back off. forreals.

on top of being a jealous person, i'm also quite competitive. i don't like being bad at things, but i accept it. but when i lose to something i KNOW i could've easily won, i get pretty pissed. it only lasts a couple minutes though. its not like i'm gonna go all Incredible Hulk on your ass.

eat an orange. its good for you.

the 2-week workout plan

this ain't no kanye west anthem, counting down days to some arms that don't wave back when i say hi, i'm not saying i'm fat, i'm just a bit thicker, and my prom dress doesn't have room for thicker, let's see how this works out, sweating like a beast nowadays, where's the heat at ?

BORING. school, everything, but things are cutting pretty close, none of that boy drama, thank goodness

let's end the week with a smile, i have a game tomorrow and you know what ? my sportsmanship SUCKS. i'm a sore loser and i'm gonna admit it, sucks don't it ? realizing your flaw but not doing crap to fix it, yeah it's life

plus the irritation tolerance decreases everyday, at times i'm at the edge and just wanna knock someone out, can i call an SOS for one of these ? because i'm clearly walking around with a dark cloud over my head, rain and all .

accept it.

i've not only accepted it, i've stop denying it. thats kinda the same thing but whatever.

i feel better. stop the lies. stop the avoidance. stop changing the subject. start telling the truth.

i'll tell you straight up if i know you like that. if i don't, well then i'll just give you one of my silent, yet absolutely OBVIOUS answers - which is basically me not saying anything.

case closed. we'll see how it goes.

sometimes the sun is mean

it is so incredibly hot. i like it, but i hate it at the same time.

i'm so sick of smelling weed in the hallways. can we have some fresh air for once, while i go to my locker?

i'm stressing, but at the same time i'm not. i WILL definitely get more stressed by next week-ish. so many reasons for this.

i'm going to sleep. now. actually, an hour from now.

my future's bust

SAT scores came out yesterday, and let me tell you i was dreaming about that stupid number, ridiculous; but i'm beyond disappointed even though people are telling me "you'll be fine" or "don't trip", well its a big fat DUH friends are supposed to say that kind of stuff, they aren't gonna be like "your score will give you a lesser chance of getting into LA or Stanford" and i don't blame them for sugar coating things because if they told it like it was i'd kick their ass for being so blunt; wow life's complicated

but as of now, i'm still kicking myself about it about what i should have done, blah, blah all i can say is don't do what i did, STUDY YO ASS OFF, no matter how cocky you are

i definitely hate being looked at as a number, freakin' SAT sucks because i did worse the second time, i know i'm not an idiot, but things aren't really matching up nowadays

because of this i drew, compare with the picture in one of my previous blogs .
& i've currently got an escort to prom, not someone at the top of my list, but he definitely seemed excited about it

today

i accomplished a lot. got things done. well, i got one thing done, but same thing. this has nothing to do with the fact that there was quite a bit of distance between me and my cell phone! despite what my sister has pointed out.

on another note, my left leg was shaking for reasons i cannot explain nor understand. my body is bipolar. first my ankle hurts, then my back (still my back!), and now my shaky leg is acting up.

i blame global warming.

moms be trippin'

nice saturday, debate's intense much ? yahh, don't mess with those debaters and those workshops; worked up a sweat arguing while being fed cookies, candy, and pizza. if it wasn't for that, i'd say it'd be a bust.
went to chinatown afterwards with jlee, slides are fun .
currently making a mini movie-sode if you will, about the uch's
but, mother is going bizerrkk over nothing, just because i was on the phone for about 2 hours of my life, doesn't mean im "in trouble" or affiliating myself with any kind of bad out there, it's called being a teenager, and she needs to stop trippin so hard over nothing
sometimes parents think the worst, and for me, my goodness its horrible because you, and everybody but them know i know right from wrong, i'm a not a bad kid .
sucks i have waste time defending myself to the people who should trust me the most, it's called those incomplete relationships, and with them there's not really any.