ordinary people don't do this kind of crap

thanks for the communicative attitude mister, i'm glad you decide to do all this now at the randomest possible moment of my life, on a sunday at about 12:30 ish ?

things are out in the open i guess, clarifications ? not really, just a whole bunch of memories brought to my attention. i know your side now and we're the same but different, i don't like that at all.

i think you're the only person who can get me this confused, i need to keep things to myself and give myself my own advice because everybody wants to try to help, but i'm the only one who knows me like the back of my hand.

he said i helped him be the person he was today, and he's realized that; sounds like someone grew up. i feel like i understand things more but i'm still uneasy on everything, why couldn't you stay out of my life and leave it to your girlfriend.

i don't like relating to all you had to say last night, thinking about us randomly and all, it's not right, that's not how things are supposed to go.

i don't like how you like how certain songs remind you of us, because it's the same for me. it's a lifetime of history with someone i ignore and treat like a stranger now.

i don't like how everything is a coincidence and that everything fell into place, john legend playlists aren't supposed to do this, none of this

i'm really scared, and no one likes being scared, hanging out to get out what we have to say about everything won't help anything because i don't want to do any of this again.

you aren't my problem anymore, you aren't supposed to be plaguing my mind right now, it was over a long time ago, and you did the damage.

demi lovato said it best here we go again

well hello there, you sexy thing =]

went to a john legend concert last night with anais =]
JOHN LEGEND! oh mann, was he dreamy.
overall it was a great night. hella good seats. not too close, yet not so far away that i can't see his face. basically, he's beautiful.

turns out his younger brother can sing too (the hella BUFF guy in the wifebeater)
estelle was there too, for like less than a minute for ONE song.
and john legend took clothes off. maybe not ALL of his clothes but enough to see his gorgeous body =]


highlight of my weekend =]

on another note, i'm completely procrastinating on homework at the moment. its not like i have A LOT to do but i'm just lazy.





guess which john legend picture is my favorite. GUESS. it should be your favorite too

life sucks

i feel pretty bad.

next time, i'll listen to my mama

i'm alone in this stupid world.

basically, i had a REALLY bad day. like i want it to be tomorrow already.

i need John Legend to make me happy.

i need someone to make me happy

let me think

i'm tired
i have to pee
and i don't know why i'm writing a blog right now.

i'm not that smart. i used to be, but that's long gone.
i know you're capable of doing things on your own.
so do it for goodness sakes.

it was very hot today. and we decided to walk home. we didn't make it. one of us passed out and we had to call 911.

i kid, i kid =]
my dad picked us up eventually. we were all dying from the heat of the hills.

you're not the boss of me. i refuse to be a pushover. i make my own decisions. you're lucky i'm a people-pleaser! if i wasn't, it would be my way or the highway. not really but i like to think that's how it would be

my mom wakes me up 10 minutes earlier than necessary. that is why i'm tired as hell right now.

i miss my bangs. sometimes my forehead needs a little warmth.

STOP drawing penises! you know who you are.

BLAAAT! i refuse to "GET SOME!" what does that even mean?

"ohh, hey, don't i DON'T know you"

life is at it's finest right now, yahh i just lied, i should be way happier at this point

senior year

but actually, no .. forgive me if i'm a debbie downer but i'm not too fond of social living, that one chick was right, it is overrated. it's like a waste period with cheap jokes that aren't funny, it's like a super laggingg conversation that just makes like the energizer bunny and goes on .. and on and on .. i'm dropping it, enough said, i don't care if it gets my senior project done, i'd rather have 5 classes

i forreal don't like school, and on top of that i feel like i'm closed into certain spots because of the dumb past, where if i go into straight up restricted zone, it's like giving myself an early death, all because of a little mishap with the opposite sex.

i don't like not knowing people when i certainly do, and i have to pretend we're not friends, never seen each other in all 16 years of my life, because i don't like lying to myself and saying, ignore the crap outta that kid whenever you see them, when you know their life story, their likes, dislikes, the basics and more. it's just asking for awkward.

i liked it before junior year, live freely
but i must say junior year was the best yet

i should be blogging about freakin school too, all the cool kids are doing it

WHAT A TURD NUGGET OF A DAY [and yesterday too] i'm not actually mad or anything, caps lock just has its way with words, but first day made me really just wanna go home, i got over this phase centuries ago when i wasn't so much of a loner and i had friends, but i started off getting an unpleasant surprise, with the person you want to have a class with actually in your class, i felt my black hair tingle because it was morphing into unattractive white hair

second period, i definitely have to give big upps to my counselor for putting me in regular english when i signed up for AP and did the summer assignment, this has happened to me once before and it's not fun, i haven't been in regular english since sophomore year, i felt like a red fish in a star fish pond with all these people i did not in a million years ever know went to skyline

i don't feel like complaining about my classes, because it's pointless, i just want to get those perks of senior priority in getting things fixed ASAP

this year doesn't feel right, i'm not getting those vibes of a good year just waiting to blossom, last year kicked my ass but it was so much fun, i don't want to grow up, i don't wanna go to sleep

i'm going to put a penny in my mouth to make it seem like i have a cold when my temperature gets measured because mommy, i don't wanna go to school

i miss my seniors, they made my day

melody

every missing piece in me, i can find in the melody..

school started. great.
to be honest, this was like one of the best summers i've ever had (if not the best)

my parents have given me more freedom.
freedom to go out
to hang out
and just chill

but thats probably only because of my lies.
i admit, i feel bad for lying to my parents but you have to do what you have to do. if that makes any sense

i miss summer a lot.

school is.. okay. i miss last year. i miss a lot of things.
but i'm sure things will get better.
trying to be optimistic. when i know things could possibly go downhill. but i try not to think about that.

i want him to come back to skyline.. yeah, cause i'm vulnerable like that. fuckme


there's a river in my mind that's never still..