i hate being mad at someone. its just a horrible feeling. the only thing worse is when someone's mad at YOU. every time i get mad, i almost feel like its for a stupid reason. its usually not.
so i got mad today. like the "go fuck yourself in the ass" type of mad. i planned on ignoring this person but i had to confront him eventually. so i did. then my dumbass starts to cry. fmlfmlfml. i've never actually cried over a boy before and i feel like a complete idiot cause my reason for crying is not even worth it. then he says sorry. but i feel like he doesn't mean it. he says he means it. but i'm still mad. more because HE actually had the capability to cause these tears to run down my cheeks rather than because of what he actually did in the first place.
i tell him whats going on in my head. he feels really bad and continues to apologize. a couple months ago i would be completely satisfied with his apologies but for some reason, its just not the same. i know he means it but i just can't let it go. he made me cry. i don't want to be this typical, vulnerable and sensitive girlfriend that cries over the stupidest situations. i want to be independent. but i guess my emotions get the best of me.
for now, things are back to normal. at least, thats how we're making it out to be. but honestly, in the back of my head i'm constantly thinking "you made me cry. why am i still talking to your dumbass?" i don't even know why. that thought just won't get out of my head.
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